Ok, so this post will mostly be derived from my own personal and my friends experiences.
I’m not an expert at all, but I’ll try and give a genuine and firsthand perspective on dating in BKK as a foreigner.
DISCLAIMER: You experience will vary as there are countless factors at play here including just sheer luck sometimes.
The Language Barrier
The language barrier is significant as many Thai people outside of the major cities cannot speak English at all or only speak a rudimentary level. [1]
Even within Bangkok, where the level of English is probably the highest, most Thai people you meet will not speak English at a conversational level.
This won’t stop them from liking you on a dating app though, and you might be stuck shifting through matches trying to figure out who can speak conversationally versus who can’t.
This isn’t a huge issue though as long as you’re giving a real effort to speak and learn Thai and your Thai date is also actively learning English.
You could learn together and improve together of course.
If you are learning Thai and want to get started with reading and writing, then check out Language Bee which is the only app designed specifically to learn to read and write Thai.
The Cultural Barrier
Even if you meet someone who speaks great English, you might hit a cultural barrier with that person.
Thai people generally think a bit differently than we do in the West. We are more direct while Thai people might speak more indirectly, hinting at what they actually mean.
We might expect an equal relationship where both parties contribute financially, but more conservative Thais might expect the man to support the woman financially.
We have expectations about how a relationship progresses and boundaries that might not match what a Thai person thinks.
This is kind of to be expected as it is cross-cultural dating and is an opportunity to learn and grow.
If you can communicate well (back to the language barrier), these differences should be nothing more than a conversation or two.
Dating Apps
Dating apps are so ubiquitous that they might be one of the best options to meet people to date in Thailand in general.
They also allow you to pre-screen for people who are open to meeting foreigners and can speak a bit of English.
Tinder in Bangkok
Tinder is widely used in Thailand.
If you have a decent profile and are passable looking then you will get a lot of attention here (which might be something like 10 likes a day or over 100 if you use a boost).
The engagement will be substationally lacking here though as many Tinder users simply won’t message or reply so curtly that a conversation is impossible.
I would recommend using Tinder Gold so you can see who likes you and try and talk with just one or two people at a time. That way you won’t overwhelmed and you can figure out who might be a good fit.
Bumble in Bangkok
Bumble is similar to Tinder, but you’ll have fewer matches generally and higher engagement. Most people who matches with you will at least send a first message.
The quality of dating options on Bumble seems to be higher as well.
Not sure why that is.
Premium features on Bumble are so overpriced that I’ve never paid for them so not sure about this part but you don’t need to pay to use the app anyway.
Badoo in Bankok
Badoo is a Russian dating app and is definitely lesser known and lesser quality.
Though it is much cheaper (I think $30 for lifetime premium?) and serviceable enough. It has a nice feature where you can filter by nearby and directly like these people.
For some reason, there seems to be more ladyboys on this app though and also the level of education and English seems to be lower as well.
Others
Other popular dating apps include Thai Friendly, Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge and more.
I haven’t used these as it is simply way too much variety for basically the same product. Just find one or two apps that works well for you and then stick to those or you will waste alot of time and energy that is better spent elsewhere.
The Man is Expected to Pay
This is something that is common in conservative areas in the US, but was a big adjustment for me.
I mostly would split the bill with dates even though I am the man. On a first or second date, I would pay only if I really liked her.
Once in a relationship, I treat my partner time to time of course, but I never liked it when a date would expect me to pay.
This was a bit difficult for me in Thailand were my expereince has been that most women expect the man to pay. It doesn’t matter if she has a good job or not, typically this is the case.
I have been on dates where she will try to split of course, but usually this is an exception rather than a rule.
Stereotypes
Stereotypes abound when it comes to interracial and cross-cultural dating in Thailand.
This largely stems frorm the general income disparity between Thai people and western expats as well as many purely transactional relationships in red-light and prostitution areas. [2]
Unfortunately, some people will assume a Western man with a Thai women means that she is just after his money and he is just a fool or at best complicit with a transactional relationship.
This is of course judgemental, close-minded, and also just plain wrong most of the time.
There are many wealthy, educated, and well-traveled Thai people that are not interested in transactional relationships and I have friends where their Thai partner actually earns more money than them.
Also, as a sidenote, sometimes there are negative views from Thais towards Indians and Africans. This could be boiled down to many of the immigrants or tourists from these countries have a reputation as being cheap and behaving badly.
Don’t let that deter you though as anyone close-minded enough to judge someone by their race or country isn’t someone who you would want to date anyway.
Sinsood (สินสอด) or Dowry
This is a sticky point for many relationships in Thailand.
Traditionally, at a Thai wedding the man will provide a sum of money which will be displayed at the wedding and then given to the woman’s family. The more beautiful and higher educated the girl, then the higher this amount will be. [3]
However, this is practice is fallng out of favor with newer generations as it doesn’t really make sense anymore in a modern context. So many families will “adjust” the tradition by displaying the money at the wedding, but then returning some or all of it to the couple getting married.
It really depends on how well off and how conservative the family is, and sometimes the girl you are dating is much more progressive thinking than her family is unfortunately.
Dating as a Tourist
Ok!
Lastly, some people ask about dating as a tourist or as someone who is just staying for a short time.
I wouldn’t really call this dating myself, but rathering meeting people casually as it is implied that the relationship will be for a short time only.
That being said, Bangkok is constantly full of travelers and open-minded people who are open to meeting for something casual. Just be clear about what you want and don’t lead someone on.
You should have no issue setting up some dates with someone as you explore the city or travel about the country. Many Thai people are quite relaxed when it comes to this.
Conclusion
There you go!
Those are some general tips and considerations for anyone coming to Thailand or Bangkok who is interested in dating. If I missed anything, reach out and let me know.
Good luck out there!
If you enjoyed reading this, then you will also probably like this guide comparing Bangkok versus Chiang Mai for expats (including the dating scene)!